Why do men meet older women?
Man and woman
Men meet women older than themselves much more often than we imagine. Everyone remembers Demi Moore’s romance with Ashton Kutcher: there’s 16 years of difference between them. And this is far from the limit: the wife of French President Emanuel Macron is 24 years older than he and taught at the school where he studied. They met when Macron was 15. And although a romantic relationship began later, after his coming of age, the public’s close attention to their relationship continued for many years.
And this situation is not unique. The condemnation of “unequal” relations, where a man is much younger, is one of the signs of our time. And yet, despite the stereotypes and bias of society, such unions continue to form and be happy.
Why do men prefer older women
According to a recent survey, young men who are in love with women older than themselves explain their preferences for various reasons, for example, consider them to be better partners than peers. Mature women are confident and self-sufficient, beautiful interlocutors, are able to listen and are not fixated on creating a family. Some argue that along with such women, their self-confidence is growing.
Men are attracted by rich life experience and emotional stability, stability, sincerity and openness to new things. One of the respondents recalled his period of meetings with young women as unsuccessful “attempts to conduct meaningful conversations in noisy nightclubs”, as well as the need to withstand the “brain removal” and immature behavior of the girls with whom he went on dates.
Permissible age difference – what is it?
A survey of Gloria Cowan, conducted in 1984, showed: people tend to believe that such relationships will be less happy than “traditional”. At the same time, it seemed to the teenagers and adults that the difference in 18 years would seriously affect the future of the couple. With a less significant age gap, people’s judgments became softer.
So which option is “perfect”? A survey participant who described his experience with young women noted that the five-year difference between him and his partner was not enough for the “emotional maturity and depth” of the relationship that he needed. He himself realized that he prefers women at least ten years older and considers them more self-confident and broad-minded: “Women of the same age and girls do not help me grow up like women of more mature age.”
Hunt for the “predator”
So, studies have shown that many men are interested in older women. But how are such relationships created? Contrary to the “predatory” image of mature women in a leopard print created by the series, looking after another young lover, many say what is happening on the contrary: younger men show interest and initiative.
Melanie Elary says that very few women of age consider themselves seducers hunting for passive prey. 55 interviews with women from 30 to 60 years old, who meet partners younger than themselves, showed that ladies prefer a passive role in establishing relationships. Elary suggests that cultural beliefs can stop them from “violating the gender scenario”.
Love for all ages
In 2018, Brian Collison and Luciana Ponde le Leon tried to find out why society condemns relations of unequal age, and they identified the main reason. According to the theory of evolution, the union of a young woman and a man a little older is most fruitful in terms of reproduction and maintaining resources for the survival of the genus. Therefore, atypical couples, especially if the partner is younger, are perceived as a challenge to the stable, traditional principle of building a family.
But in reality it turns out that some men meet women of mature age because they perceive relations with them as equal, close. In real life there are many more such couples and they are happier than is commonly believed.
“My husband is seven years younger than me”
Due to the age difference, they did not dare to be together for a long time. And today, the couple see in her an occasion to look at life with humor and optimism.
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