What inner limitations prevent us from telling the truth


The truth can be cruel, and its consequences are not always possible to predict – once getting out “to the surface”, it can cause a lot of troubles. Therefore, it is not so easy to always remain honest, because we cannot know what will turn out to be straightforward and whether we will have to regret it. On the one hand, one does not want to cheat, on the other, it is scary to take risks and be extremely frank. During such reflections, the thought involuntarily creeps in: maybe it’s better to keep silent?

However, there are situations when hiding the truth is tantamount to lying. It is one thing not to tell a friend that she has recovered, and quite another to withhold information that may affect an important decision. If this fact is revealed, the one who was misled will draw conclusions not so much about the significance of the discovered facts, but about us, if we decided to remain silent. We find ourselves in a trap: wherever we throw, everywhere a wedge. You will not be able to evade: you will have to make a choice and prepare for any consequences.

Case of life

A good example of finding the golden mean between truth and lies is the story of the lawyer Vladimir. He left a large law firm due to disagreements with management and was worried about what a potential new employer would think about the conflict. As a result, Vladimir decided to tell the truth and, apparently, the new company appreciated it: he was hired.

But Vladimir’s luck does not prove that you always need to be straightforward. He presented the conflict with the previous employer in such a way that his actions during that quarrel were in line with the values ​​of the new company. Here is what he told a human resources employee at an interview: “In the company where I worked before, they adhered to a strict hierarchy, but I turned out to be an excessively creative upstart, for which I paid. I can’t stand silently sitting out a working day and acting according to a template instead of developing, mastering new approaches ”.

Vladimir admitted that he did not play according to the rules that were adopted in his previous job, and at the same time emphasized his initiative – in some companies, especially in small ones, this quality is welcomed. He did a preliminary investigation about the employer who invited him for an interview and took a moderate risk: to tell the truth, but to present it subtly and smartly. If Vladimir had been interviewed by a company with the same values ​​as his previous employer, he would have chosen a different way to present himself.

All variables must be considered if you want to achieve good results. Find out beforehand: what kind of people are you going to deal with? What is expected of you? Will you be able to stick to the planned plan and quickly adjust it if you understand that you need to act differently?

What prevents us from telling the truth?

Pondering how best to tell a potential new employer about what happened to him at his previous job, Vladimir faced his own internal constraints. It was not easy for him to act straightforwardly, because he involuntarily copied his mother, who was always cunning and dodged. Even in everyday situations where there was no point in pretending, she chose to lie. For example, when she could not find the keys for a long time and because of this the boy was late for football practice, she imagined that she was late because she was busy helping the homeless as a volunteer.

In such cases, Vladimir was surprised that someone believed in these excuses. But most of all he was amazed at how skillfully she performed her tricks, and he even thought that it would be great to master this talent. And although indignation boiled in him when his mother justified the delay or lack of a gift for a relative by the slowness or forgetfulness of her son, over time he became the same cynical sly.

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