What are our years: the main stages of child development
0–2 months: already a person
Child behavior. He gazes steadily at your face or considers something simple – the “pillars” of the crib, a spot of sunlight. His world is a world of feelings. Each baby reacts in its own way to the feeling of hunger, motion sickness, desire to sleep, but all children feel the effect of sounds: smooth and soothing, sharp and exciting.
Your behavior. Smile, look him in the eye, talk with him so that he feels: you understand him. Learn to decipher his feelings.
2–4.5 months: start of communication
Child behavior. The world is what is in sight. Having dropped the rattle, he will not look for it: I don’t see, so it doesn’t exist. He freezes, seeing your face, hearing a voice, smiling and walking. Of all adults, the mother (or the person who replaces her) allocates. He finds her gaze, trying to attract attention. In different situations, his cry sounds differently, he learns to “manage” his mother.
Your behavior. You can see the first signs of his temperament, understand what calms him and offends him, why he is crying now. Do not be shy of your feelings: rejoice at him, caress, pick him up, repeat his sounds, but do not “lisp” – behave naturally. Change toys from time to time, let us feel them, “test” them with gums.
7 months: the statement of self
Child behavior. He knows how to sit down, take, examine and throw toys, recognizes the voices of loved ones and singles out his name in the stream of words. He understands you, begins to control his behavior: he searches for a familiar object, makes simple movements (“wave your hand!”). He distinguishes between faces, cries, seeing a stranger, and begins to intervene in the conversations of adults, pronouncing individual syllables.
Your behavior. Tell him what is happening at the moment, pause so that he can “speak out”, otherwise he will get bored. Demonstrate how to operate with objects (the light turns on, etc.). And always explain your requirements.
In your rhythm
Your child is a special person. His psyche develops individually, in due time. Experts always talk about a statistically averaged age. Do not sound the alarm if your child is “late” in development: someone starts walking earlier, someone cannot master the alphabet for a long time … There is a time for everything. But if your anxiety persists, be sure to contact a pediatrician and psychologist.
10-12 months: first steps
Child behavior. He opens the concept of “territory”. He is interested in everything he sees – new people and objects. He tries to walk, eat and drink on his own. Pronounces the first words. It is sad if there is no mom nearby.
Your behavior. “Security”, “freedom” and “discipline” are new words in your life. Take away things that you can’t touch: he should move freely, exploring everything that interests him. Learn to set boundaries and say no, but do it as little as possible. Learn to distract him and switch attention.
18 months: all in defiance
Child behavior. He learns to oppose himself to you, says “No!” To everything, makes scandals. But it is also obedient, charmingly affectionate.
Your behavior. Try to be calm and patient: to become independent, he must practice positive and negative feelings.
2 years: imitation
Child behavior. His actions become focused. Now the main thing for him is not what he does with objects, but the result. He prefers real objects to toys. While playing, he imitates someone all the time: he is trying to understand the world around him.
Your behavior. Do not rush to help if he does not succeed. It is important for the child to cope with what he previously failed. Teach him to play without trying to correct, encourage imitation.
3 years: struggle for independence
Child behavior. He knows what he wants, thinks that he can achieve this, and is ready to defend this right. But he is dissatisfied with everything that you offer him, quarrels with you and sometimes behaves very aggressively.
Your behavior. Keep a friendly attitude towards him and yourself. Do not enter into endless debate. Allow everything that is not dangerous to him and others. Prohibit hard, but not too often. Respect his intentions and, if possible, leave the choice to him.
4 years: the era of “why?”
Wonderful age: children fill us with questions, answer them in their own way and build their own picture of the world, in which the magical and the real easily coexist. Now the main thing for him is to show himself knowledgeable, equal to an adult.
Your behavior. Respect his inventions, stimulate the imagination, always answer questions.
5 years: continuous complaints
Child behavior. Now he is interested in people, their actions, he wants to understand what is good and what is bad. And constantly complaining about someone.
Your behavior. His complaints are a way to learn life standards. Confirm the rules, talk about the inappropriateness of complaints, never call “sneak”, try to understand what really bothers him.
6-7 years: the age of the mind
Child behavior. He knows a lot of games, invents stories for them, plays different roles. He wants to become an adult, to know more, to study at school. This is the time when children’s immediacy is lost.
Your behavior. Support his desire to play, create conditions for playing with peers. Accept his growing up and say goodbye forever to your old child. If something was missed, on the threshold of the school, it’s time to reconsider your educational position and start all over again.
8-10 years: the ability to learn
Child behavior. He learned to learn: he subordinates his own “want” to the required “necessary”, is critical of himself, can follow the process of his own change (“who I was” and “what I became”).
Your behavior. Listen to him. Do not immediately answer the question, look for what is behind it. Do not evaluate, but clarify, ask, and as carefully as possible “remove” your opinion out of brackets. Leave time to talk precious to his soul about nothing.
11-12 years: the end of childhood
Child behavior. The most important people are his peers, and he must somehow become the best among them. And your authority falls, he learns that you are not omnipotent. But still he needs tenderness, reliable guidelines, trusting, equal, communication with adults.
Your behavior. Respect his right to his own experience, inner peace, his territory. Help him to be himself, take care of the sincerity and goodwill of your relationship.
How to support a first grader: a heart-to-heart talk
The child went to school. For him, this is a difficult transition period during which parental support is so necessary. In order not to aggravate his condition, you can introduce a simple but effective ritual into life together, just as the teacher and game practitioner Maria Shvetsova did.
Others like us more than we think.
Most are familiar with the feeling when, after a short conversation with a person, it seems that we were not up to the mark and hardly left a good impression about ourselves. However, most often we are mistaken in this, says psychologist Art Markman. And his opinion is supported by numerous studies.