1 the habit of complaining
Life is often viewed as a path, a road, and it can be bumpy and difficult. From time to time it is quite normal to complain about the next “bump”, only chronically unhappy people do it all the time. They themselves do not notice how such behavior turns into a habit, and over time it turns out that it is much easier for them to see the world in dark colors than to look at things with optimism.
Gradually, all good things are lost sight of and forgotten. And these are not just general words: research shows that those who complain are generally less satisfied during the work day and wake up feeling bad the next day. In addition, complaints are bad for the health and function of the brain, since the stress hormone cortisol is released into the blood.
What to do
Learn to support, praise and speak good words both to the people around you and to the one you see in the mirror. Try to look at the ray of light breaking through the clouds, and not at the clouds themselves; on roses, not thorns. Strive to maintain an optimistic outlook on life even when things go wrong. Celebrate even minor successes, praise yourself, and give yourself small gifts.
2.A craving for self-criticism
It is useful for everyone to know themselves well, their strengths and weaknesses. The main thing is not to concentrate exclusively on the latter and working with them. Chronically unhappy people criticize themselves, imperceptibly turning to humiliation. The voice of the inner critic points out to them the next mistake, oversight, mistake, forgetting to remind that a person has already coped with something more difficult in life, and more than once.
So, if you criticized yourself for years, but nothing good came of it, maybe you should change your tactics: try to praise yourself and see what happens?
What to do
Learn to admit and accept your mistakes, put them in the past and move forward. Stop expecting yourself to be perfect – focus on the growth process itself and on being a little better tomorrow. Stop looking for flaws in yourself, focus on your strengths, on what you have already done. Stop your inner critic as soon as you hear his voice.
3) the habit of expecting happiness from others
Many spend days, weeks, months, and years waiting for something to happen that will change their lives. In a sense, they hope for a miracle, but the responsibility for happiness lies with ourselves. We and only we are responsible for our life experience, for the goals that we set for ourselves, including the desire to be happy.
Expecting others to make us happy, we are doomed to be forever disappointed and blame others for our troubles. No matter how the circumstances evolve and no matter how others behave, we ourselves must walk the path to happiness.
Psychologist Viktor Frankl, author of the book “Man in Search of Meaning”, wrote: “You can take away everything from a person, except for one thing: the last freedom – to choose your own attitude to any circumstances, choose your own path.” And happiness really depends on what kind of attitude we choose to live. So it’s worth focusing on how we ourselves can make ourselves happy.
What to do
Try to treat each day as a unique gift, an opportunity to gain new experiences and impressions. Don’t put off your dreams and desires until tomorrow – start realizing them today.