And most importantly, Stanislav Raevsky emphasizes, “we cannot truly love another person while we project our Shadow (negative or positive) onto him. Our tough “I” blocks our potential for joy, love and connection with other people. ”
Moreover, we also cannot love and respect ourselves if we ignore a part of ourselves and allow it to fight against our own interests.
Make her an ally
That is why it is so important for each of us to “meet” our double and recognize ourselves in it. “Realizing your Shadow and learning how to handle it is the fate of all people,” wrote Jung3… This means realizing that everything that revolts (or admires) me in other people is also in me. In me, kind and peaceful, there is anger and aggression. Or in me, weak and defenseless, there is strength and ability to defend my interests. “In other words, the Shadow contains the complete opposite of the person we think we are,” concludes Stanislav Raevsky.
It is very difficult to accept this, because it means redefining our understanding of ourselves. But those who refuse this work risk even more. He is threatened with stress and depression, anxiety and dissatisfaction with himself, a sense of guilt. He will be susceptible to all sorts of obsessive states and runs the risk of being led by his impulses: jealousy, uncontrollable anger, anger, gluttony …
And if we dare to face the Shadow, we get huge bonuses. “When we begin to integrate our Shadow, we discover how much we are internally richer than we imagined before,” says Stanislav Raevsky. – How many different things we have that we previously attributed to other people and did not notice in ourselves. Suppressed qualities, character traits, complexes – this is a huge energy that was excommunicated from us, and now it returns to us. Our perception of the world is changing, new horizons are opening up, life is becoming brighter. We gain the ability to love others and the whole world. ”
At the same time, the Jungian analyst clarifies, accepting the dark sides of your personality does not mean indulging them. On the contrary, recognizing them, we can control them, that is, not allow the Shadow to take over us.
“If a person in the second half of his life has at least a little bit of consciousness and a grain of moral strength, then criticism, if it should be present at all, should be attributed only to himself,” says James Hollis. And yet, the sooner a person begins to become aware of his Shadow, the better. “It is in our youth that we make a lot of mistakes because of ignorance of our Shadow and then regret it,” adds Stanislav Raevsky. By the way, parents should also remember about the Shadow so that they can less impose their vision of the world on children, allowing them to develop their natural inclinations, interests and character traits.
However, we will never be able to say goodbye to the Shadow forever. This is why Jung encouraged his clients to come back to him after 10 years and analyze what had accumulated in their Shadow over the years. And we should also understand and accept this.