Psychologists say that happiness is not a permanent state, but an unstable emotion, like a wave that either covers the shore or recedes. That is why the pursuit of happiness runs the risk of backfiring, says Sonya Lubomirsky, a positive psychologist and author of several books on happiness. According to her observations, people who overestimate the importance of happiness in their lives become less and less happy over time.
“Gradually they begin to spend more and more time monitoring their condition, every now and then asking themselves:“ Am I happy now? And now? .. “And if they answer in the negative, they inevitably experience disappointment.”
“The goal of being happy 24/7 is simply unattainable,” says psychologist Richard Davidson. At least, because we all happen to experience trauma or face circumstances that fundamentally change our lives, such as, for example, the coronavirus pandemic.
Therefore, instead of looking for happiness, the specialist suggests striving for what in English is called “well-being” – for well-being.
“Money can not buy happiness”
Job loss, loss of most of our income, poverty are all serious challenges that affect our mental health and mood. Money can significantly help in this situation and improve our condition, however, there is a financial level, upon reaching which the influence of money on well-being decreases.
For example, a 2018 study found that North Americans earning $ 105,000 a year are content with their lives. But when they start getting paid more, their happiness levels drop. Another study suggests that people feel happier as their income rises, but only until they start earning $ 75,000 a year (about 5.5 million rubles).
Why doesn’t money become a measure of happiness? First, because you can’t buy happiness. Secondly, as income grows, so does our appetite, which means that we are never satisfied. In addition, we cannot stop comparing our well-being to others and are stuck in this grueling race. So what do we really need?