A woman with us constantly owes something to someone. And above all, it should look younger, this is fueled by advertising. A striking example is a commercial for hair dye, where a famous actress with horror and disgust looks at her gray hair, as if she is trying to scare me to death. At the same time, I want to say: “Please, frighten me more subtly.”
After all, until the beginning of the eighties, we all did not even suspect what cellulite was, and did not try to fight it. Now manufacturers are trying to simply cash in on our fears.
We are born with unconditional self-love, but gradually we lose this gift. If a woman allows herself to go gray, she is almost automatically put on the margins. However, when she strenuously deals with her appearance, this is also frowned upon. And even those who are recognized as icons of youth – Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez – still hear reproaches in their address on social networks that they look at their age.
Favorite entertainment on social networks – uploading someone’s photos and heated discussion of the youthfulness of the heroines. Frankly, I underwent many anti-aging procedures, ranging from 30 to 45-47 years old. I struggled with signs, as it seemed to me then, of approaching old age. And then the fear of losing youth was gone.
Now I like myself with makeup, but even without it, looking in the mirror, I do not feel horror and disgust. I no longer paint over gray hair. I’m not afraid to wear black, which, as we are assured, ages women of elegant age. I do not do cosmetic procedures designed to erase the traces of age.
This does not mean that I have completely ceased to be interested in how I look. It’s just that from now on my own attitude towards myself is the only criterion by which I am guided.
“What do I want to do just for myself?” – an important question when moving to a new age
Daria Petrovskaya, gestalt therapist
I share the position of the heroine: everything has its time and its potential. The cultural features of the modern world as a whole are not associated with the need to necessarily reproduce and multiply. The importance of fertility and attempts to keep up with everything during this period faded into the background.
There are many options for development at any age, and then there are particulars. It is important for someone to start a family, for someone to develop independently. Attempts to keep up with youth are associated with competition and are rooted in antiquity, in subconscious fears of being an unnecessary member of society.
It is also due to a vague understanding of the various role positions of women. It is clear what it means to be a daughter, a mother. But what are the functions of the grandmother now – it is not completely clear. In Soviet culture, it was the institution of grandmothers that had a huge impact on our formation: they sat with their grandchildren while their parents worked, told fairy tales, cooked delicious cutlets and created pleasant memories of our childhood.
They became grandmothers after retirement, that is, after the working age ended. Thus, they remained important members of the family system into which they were included. Most often, a grandmother in our view is a kind and asexual creature exuding love and care.