“My brother is happy to talk about how we built huts in the country, recalls our disputes and quarrels, and how, secretly from our parents, we fed a stray dog … I have no memories left,” 34-year-old Elizabeth is surprised …
Psychophysiologist Yuri Grinchenko reminds that the brain records everything that happens to us: “This information continues to be stored and does not disappear anywhere.” What are the reasons for this amnesia?
1 hurting experiences
“The inability to remember, as a rule, is not associated with memory loss, but with an unconscious desire to forget the past,” explains the child psychoanalytic psychologist Natalia Zueva. – Forgetfulness protects from the moments of shame or humiliation experienced in childhood, feelings of grief or acute loneliness. It also protects against pleasant sensations that are prohibited. “
Thus, for example, the forbidden excitement experienced while playing with a brother or sister can be “forgotten,” and with it the game itself, and the whole day, and sometimes a more significant period of time, goes into darkness. If such a memory emerges, it will lead to hurtful experiences in the present.
2 deliberate refusal
Refusal to remember can be quite deliberate if a person, for one reason or another, wants to erase some period from life.
“Until the seventh grade, I was a real outsider,” recalls 30-year-old Yulia. – Then we moved, and in the new school, where no one knew me, I firmly decided that I would not allow anyone to mistreat me anymore. I erased the previous seven years of my life from my memory and started all over again.