Of course, you won’t be able to start showing empathy for others right away. Try empathizing with yourself first. In the meantime, do not change, try – but only as delicately as possible! – stop communicating with those whose life your presence in it affects negatively.
The coming weeks, months, and maybe even years, you will have to devote to yourself and to heal from old traumas. You didn’t hurt others because you’re a bad person — it’s just your defense mechanism. This, of course, does not justify your actions, but at least it explains. This means that you can and must heal.
If not for yourself, then for the sake of others. Don’t let the past rule your life. Of course, you can apologize to everyone you hurt, but that won’t solve the problem. You have to change, stop thinking about what is wrong with others, and focus on yourself.
Feeling happier will make you a little kinder. You are not helpless, you are just deeply hurt. But there’s a light ahead. It’s time to see him.