How to find out who I am?
Practices how to
Audit your story
In order to fully pronounce the “I”, you need to understand and accept the past of your family, to consciously take your place in it. The life situations that we accept or reject become the bricks that make up ourselves. And in order to become ourselves, we must consciously choose what we feel in ourselves as good, and get rid of what torments us.
Distinguish yourself from your social role
We can perceive ourselves mainly as a professional or, say, the mother of the family, as if locking ourselves in a single image. But during the day a person can be a worker and friend, a parent and spouse, be sad and angry, love and remain indifferent.
These states have to be constantly coordinated with each other. Those who think are mistaken: “I have become myself and now I will remain so forever.”
“I am such and can’t do anything with myself”, “I have such a character” – which of us has not heard such phrases? Sometimes we begin to believe that we have formed completely, that all the properties of our personality and character traits are unchanged.
But having taken such a position, a person limits himself, he does not allow himself to move forward, to develop, and therefore he is fencing himself off. The path to oneself is continuous development and change.
Be genuine in communication
It seems to some that being yourself means literally telling everything about yourself and frankly tell others what you think about them. In fact, our task is to find a correspondence between our own thoughts, feelings and what we express to another person.
If, communicating, I understand that it is significant for me, I assume that it is important for the interlocutor, taking into account the place and time of communication, I can express my thoughts and feelings without breaking the boundaries of the other.
Recognize Negative Feelings
Extruded memories, mental trauma, unaccountable desires prevent one from being sincere. We do not confess them to ourselves, because we are unconsciously afraid of their destructive power. But if we work with them, studying ourselves, then we begin to communicate with others differently.
This enriches and simplifies our lives: it gives us the opportunity to experience feelings brighter, talk more freely about ourselves and our desires, and at the same time removes the grave need to pretend or embellish ourselves.
Define your limits
Realizing that we do not know how, do not want or do not have time to do, we experience strong and not always pleasant emotions, but as a result we begin to understand ourselves much better.
Look at yourself from the side
It is important to distinguish between an inner sensation that makes it clear: we are now playing a role or living our own life. In each of us there is a “different-in-ourselves” that helps to notice and relate our feelings, thoughts and actions to each other.
This other is not an overseer or an evaluating intellectual. Rather, it can be compared with a certain angel who carefully turns us to ourselves.