Do you live only for the weekend? This is a sign of burnout.
Career and self-realization
According to the International Classification of Diseases, burnout is not necessarily the result of chronic overwork. This condition can also occur due to too simple and boring work. Burnout is a chronic stress that causes a feeling of internal exhaustion, an alienated and even cynical attitude to work.
In this state, we often forget that rest should bring joy. Many at the weekend indulge in bad habits, which is why on Monday they feel completely exhausted.
“I live only for the weekend”
It is one thing to look forward to the weekend, it is quite another when the weekend becomes the only joy for which you live. This may be a sign of latent emotional burnout. “I can’t stand Mondays,” “Thank God it’s already Friday” – most of us pronounce these phrases without thinking, but, in essence, we say: “I hate 80% of my life.”
“If we divide our week into two parts and believe that working days are always“ bad ”and weekends are“ good ”, then we exacerbate the problem. All weekend, we are horrified to think that on Monday we will have to go to work again, constantly whining and complaining, ”explains clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.
If work draws vitality from you, you need food for the soul
Solution: create a weekend atmosphere on weekdays. “Suppose you usually spend the weekend talking with friends, relaxing, arranging small adventures for yourself. Wonderful. Think about whether you can do this on weekdays, ”Howes advises. For example, you can have breakfast in a cafe with a friend (not a colleague) or go to the bookstore during the lunch break.
“If work draws vitality from you, you need food for the soul. Try to surround yourself with people with a good sense of humor, try something new to awaken your dying curiosity, ”recommends family therapist Adriana Alejandre.
“If the reason for the burnout is that the work seems too simple and boring, you can find yourself another way of self-realization. The weekend provides an excellent opportunity to look for a part-time job on the side or start a creative project. The main thing is that you feel that you are doing an interesting job, ”said coach Melody Wilding.
You constantly think about work and complain about it
It seems to us that, complaining about the terrible colleagues and the tyranny of the boss, we at least somehow “let off steam” and relieve stress, but in the long run, constant thoughts about problems at work only exacerbate our condition.
“If you can’t get rid of the“ boiling ”in any way and talk about it again and again, you do not“ let off steam ”, but become dirty in fruitless thoughts. You cannot let go of your resentment, and you cannot get rid of stress, ”explains Howes.
Complaints should not be an end in itself, but the first step to finding a solution to a problem
Solution: realize the real situation and change the way of thinking. To redirect your energy from useless complaints to a more productive course, ask yourself: “What can I do about this?” “Complaints should not be an end in itself, but the first step to finding a solution to a problem,” the psychologist emphasizes.
Wilding advises to make a habit of asking “control questions” about the past work week before the weekend, for example: “What did I manage to do this week?”, “What progress have I made? What could be done better? “,” What are the lessons for the future worth learning? ” “Many people at the weekend immediately“ turn off ”, not even having time to psychologically unload after work,” she explains.
By answering these questions, you will “close” this working week for yourself and you will be able to enjoy your vacation calmly, without being distracted by unnecessary doubts and thoughts.
You live “on the machine” all the time, even on weekends
In a state of emotional burnout, we often stop noticing anything other than work, so even at the weekend we find it difficult to switch to something else.
“I often see clients who are so overloaded with various responsibilities and plans that spend their days off“ on the machine, “not giving themselves the opportunity to fully recover. They’re just trying to get away from everything and escape from reality, mindlessly watching TV shows or going to restaurants, ”says Melody Wilding.
Solution: act consciously and purposefully. This does not mean that you cannot relax on the couch watching a movie, but it is important to know what you want. “If you are going to watch TV shows all evening, this is not scary – but only if you do it consciously, knowing what you want to get. It should be your own decision. But if you just think: “I want to disconnect from everything, lie in my cave and forget about the rest of the world”, this is not the most healthy position, ”the coach explains.
You do not control the technology, but it is you
When the phone is always nearby, a feeling often arises that at any minute you can wait for a call from the authorities, although formally the time is already inactive. Perhaps you find yourself constantly checking emails and notifications related to work.
First of all, it is important to understand where this need comes from, to be constantly available. “Usually it is based on fear. It is because of fear that stress arises. We are afraid to miss something. We are afraid of falling behind others. We are afraid that we will return to work insufficiently prepared, ”says Rayan Howes.
Decide how many hours you are willing to give work on the weekend. Keep in touch but set limits
Solution: set clear boundaries, let your superiors and colleagues know what time you are available. If you feel the need to be in touch all the time (“What if they urgently need me?”), Think that such thinking draws you into a vicious circle of burnout even more.
“Most likely, colleagues and bosses are already accustomed to counting on you even after hours. If you always answer any of their calls and messages, thereby you make it clear that they can continue to bother you during the rest. It’s very important to try to overcome the anxiety that makes you do this, ”Adriana Alejandre is sure.
“Even if you really need to be in touch all the time, you can decide how many hours you are ready to give work on the weekend. Keep in touch, but set some restrictions. Talk to your superiors and colleagues and clearly clarify your working hours, when you are available and inaccessible, and when you can expect to receive calls, letters or messages from you, ”recommends Melody Wilding.
Often, emotional burnout is not our fault, but there is much to change in our power
We cannot influence many factors that provoke burnout (for example, the authorities demand too much from us, setting unrealistic deadlines). But this does not mean that we cannot change anything.
If you understand that the cause of your burnout has become a toxic atmosphere in the workplace, it’s time to think about whether to stay at such a job that threatens your mental well-being. Talk with your boss about the requirements that apply to you and decide on your career priorities.
But something you can do now is to regain a full weekend. However, in order to learn how to fully recover from stress at work, you also have to work on yourself.