Are we having enough sex?

Subjective numbers

Most sexologists agree that, on average, in the first two years of marriage, a couple has sex about 13 times a month (2-3 times a week). Five years later – 8-9 times a month. But the intensity of sex life decreases with age.

“When paying attention to numbers, it is important to understand that they are based on the results of opinion polls,” says Igor Kon. “But there are very few of them in the world, and in Russia there are no long-term studies of relations between the same partners for a long time.” In addition, in the answers, women and men are very subjective, they are shy or, conversely, brag a little. Therefore, we should not take statistics as a rule that we must follow at all costs.

There is one more peculiarity in the polls: it is not precisely defined what “once” is. Our understanding of what it means to have sex is very different. “Each respondent means something of his own by this, – emphasizes Naida Dobaeva. – Men, as a rule, consider sex as valid when they reach orgasm. Whereas a woman can enjoy caresses and feel completely satisfied, even if she did not have an orgasm. In other cases, she can reach orgasm, enjoying caresses, even if there was no penetration (penetration). ” The duration of “once” is also estimated differently by men and women.

Different desire

“Sometimes I am afraid that in the eyes of my friend I look like some kind of sexual maniac,” admits 28-year-old Sergei, not without pride. – I can’t help myself, I want her over and over again. Sometimes she even has to ask me to let her rest. “

Men and women, we prefer different frequencies of intimate relationships. This difference is due to the different nature of male and female sexuality. In men, the “desire hormone” testosterone is produced constantly. The enjoyment of sex for a healthy man is practically guaranteed, and therefore a man strives for it more and more. The degree of arousal and the possibility of orgasm in men depend mainly on the state of health and, to a lesser extent, on his feelings for his partner. Added to these physiological features is the tendency of men to be competitive, to strive to achieve more, to prove and feel their worth. The combination of these reasons leads to the fact that the greatest sexual activity in men occurs between 20 and 30 years.

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