A teenager in social networks: how to resist a hater?

A teenager in social networks: how to resist a hater? KNOW YOURSELF

A teenager in social networks: how to resist a hater?

Discovering the dizzying world of Instagram, Likee or TikTok, our 9-10 year old children do not even know what kind of tests social networks are preparing for their unstable self-esteem. The softest of them is to run into an offensive comment. But awe before haters is not a reason to refuse to communicate. Communication specialists – journalist Nina Zvereva and writer Svetlana Ikonnikova – in the book “The Star of Social Networks” tell how to react to negative responses correctly. Publish a snippet.

“So you published your post. I posted the video. Now everyone sees him – with your avatar, with emoticons (or without them), with photos or pictures … And of course, every three minutes you look into the social network to see: is there a reaction? Like? A comment? And you see – yes, there is!

And at this point, your blogging career may collapse. Because even the person who knows how to shoot cool videos and write wonderful posts will not become a top blogger if he does not know how to respond to comments correctly. And how to do it right?

What if the comments do not praise you?

Justified? Or keep silent? No one knows the correct answer. Because he is not. But there is a dispute stretching over a hundred comments. What is left? Accept someone else’s opinion.

Once Voltaire said: “I do not agree with any of your words, but I am ready to die for your right to say what you think.” This is democracy, by the way. Therefore, if in the comments a person expresses an opinion that you do not share at all, let him know about this, argue with him, bring your arguments. But do not insult. He has the right to think so. You are different. All different.

And if he writes nasty things about me and my friends?

And here we are already acting on a different principle. But first, let’s make sure that this is really nasty, and not a different point of view. Once upon a time there was a blogger Dasha. And she once wrote a post: “How tired I am of this math! Lord, I can no longer. No, I’m ready to cram the logarithms and wade through the discriminants. But I should at least understand why. I am a humanist. Cubic equations will never come in handy in my life. What for?! Well, why am I spending a ton of my time and nerves on them? Why can’t I study oratory, psychology or history at this time – something that is really interesting to me? What needs to happen for algebra and geometry in high school to be made subjects of choice? ”

Negative comments quite logically fell on Dasha. Read five of them and say: which ones, in your opinion, are written in essence, and which ones are just insults?

  1. “Yes, you just can’t get anything higher than the” troika “in algebra, and now you are mad!”
  2. “Oh, you can see right away – blonde! You’d better keep your little photos, there’s at least something to see! ”
  3. “That’s bullshit! How can one live without math? ”
  4. “Another victim of the exam!”
  5. “I strongly disagree! Mathematics develops logical thinking, and without it a person lives almost like an amphibian, on the same instincts. ”

That’s right, insults are the first, second and fourth comments.

In them, the authors do not argue with the idea expressed by Dasha, but assess the intellectual level of Dashin. Moreover, they evaluate it very critically. And here is the third comment … Why do you think it cannot be attributed to insults (although I really want to)? Because the author of this comment does not evaluate Dasha, but the idea expressed by her. Of course, he does not know how to competently share his assessment, but at least he does not write that Dasha is stupid.

Note, this is a big difference. To tell a person that he is a fool, or to say that his idea is stupid. A fool is an insult. Stupid idea … well, each of us periodically says nonsense. Although it is more correct to respond like this: “This idea seems to me stupid.” And explain why. Actually, this is exactly what the author of the fifth comment tried to do: he expressed disagreement with the idea (mind you, he did not evaluate Dasha at all) and argued his position.

Of course, it is best to argue with those who know how to do this without hurting your personality. Perhaps you will lose in this argument. But it will be just a dispute, not insults flying back and forth. But comments that are full of anger or mockery of you and your family can be safely deleted. You have every right not to turn your page into garbage. And of course, rid her of verbal filth.

A teenager in social networks: how to resist a hater?

Where do they come from, these haters?

The term “hater” does not need to be explained, is it? We hope these people did not come to your page, but be prepared: you can always meet with a hater on social networks. Of course, the stars get the most from them. You open any photo of the star on Instagram and you certainly find in the comments something like: “Yes, years are already visible …” or “God, how could you put such a dress on such a thick ass!” Note, we wrote very carefully – “ fat ass. ” Haters are not shy in expressions. Who are these people? There are several options.

  1. Haters are people who do their job. For example, Romashka paid specially hired haters to write all sorts of nasty things in the comments on Vasilek posts. And they write with inspiration. As a result, people stop buying cornflowers from the Cornflower company and start buying daisies from the Camomile company. Vile? Of course. Never do that.
  2. These are people who assert themselves at the expense of stars. Well, when in real life, the quiet loser Vasya will meet with the miss world ?! Yes, never. But he will come to her page in social networks and write: “Well, erysipelas! And this one was called a beauty? Pf-f, our pigs are even prettier! ”Vasina’s self-esteem soared to heaven. But how – he expressed his “fi” to the beauty!
  3. These are people who like to see others suffer from their words. These people will not go to comment on the posts of the miss world. They will begin to methodically mock on social networks those who they know personally: students of their own school, “colleagues” in the sports section, neighbors … They are pleased to feel their power over the emotions of others. Muck wrote – and you see how a person blushes, turns pale, does not know what to say in response … And everyone has a chance to run into a sampler hater No. 3. You can simply delete his offensive comments. And you can, if you feel the strength in yourself, to fight back.

How to fight back a hater?

The most important thing here is not to respond in the manner that the hater implies. What does he expect from you? Resentment, retaliation, excuses. And any of your answers in this format will mean that you follow the hater, accept the rules imposed on him. Get out of this plane! Tell the hater what he is doing, play a trick on the situation or … totally agree with him.

Once, the girl Ira wrote in a comment: “Well, where did you climb with such a huge ass?” “Well, you are just hitting me now, and not talking essentially,” Ira answered the commentator. “Come on, or I’ll delete your comment.” No offense. No insults in return. Ira analyzed the hater’s commentary and warned what she would do if this happened again.

And after a couple of months to the comment: “Yes, you are really mediocre!” – she wrote: “Well, that’s it, that’s it, I defeated the girl! I give up! ”- and put emoticons. Ira didn’t even think about arguing. She joked in passing and thereby knocked out the soil from under the hater. And for the third time, to the same hater (the guy was annoying), she wrote to the offensive comment about her intellect: “Yeah, that’s right. To the very point. ”

“Yes, you can’t even quarrel with you!” – the hater responded with resentment and did not leave any comments on Ira’s page. Only silently liked her photos. By the way, the story continued. Once, another person started trolling Iru. (Ira is a witty girl, so her blog quickly gained popularity. And where popularity is there, haters.)

So, that very first hater breasted defended the girl. He repulsed every attack of the alien troll. Ira read all this and smiled. ”

Other rules of communication in social networks, the art of publicly telling interesting stories and finding people who are close in spirit, Nina Zvereva and Svetlana Ikonnikova are told in the book “Star of social networks. How to Become a Cool Blogger ”(Clover-Media-Group, 2020).
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