one. Try new
To experiment, calm your inner critic, relax, and surrender to the moment. Tune in to the sensations, remember what you like, what you would like to repeat and develop.
2. Take turns
It often happens that one partner burns out with desire, and the other is completely not in the mood to make love. Over time, this can cause the initiator to feel humiliated by having to “beg” sex. If each of the two takes up the initiative in time, the intimate life of the couple will be more balanced.
3. Go to bed at the same time
It is a beneficial ritual that strengthens relationships. You can exchange gentle words, soak under the covers while you are still awake – all this fuels desire and allows you to tune in to sex.
4. Don’t think of sex as a duty.
Many couples are overworked, stressed, and view sex as just another obligation. As a result, they – knowingly or not – sabotage moments of intimacy and secretly breathe a sigh of relief when their partner suggests “just go to bed.” Ideally, making love should fill you with new strength, not take it away.
5. Porn: why not?
The fact that one of the partners is watching porn may not be to the liking of the other. But in fact, the problem is not in porn, but in the attitude to it as something forbidden. My advice: find a place for porn in your relationship. Watch it together, explore different genres and forms – as if switching channels. You don’t have to watch everything, but you may find something to your liking.
6. Talk about your innermost fantasies
Feel free to discuss what you would like to do in bed, talk about your erogenous zones and the sensations associated with them. Ask your partner what role he would like to play in sex. Think about what kind of experiments you would venture into sex. If more couples learned to talk openly about secret desires, their intimate life would be fuller.
7. Sleep without clothes (at least from time to time)
Partners feel better when they are not separated by a layer of fabric. Touching the skin, hugging, stroking – all this has a stimulating effect and encourages sex.
8. Don’t be afraid to discuss what you like
Many couples find it difficult to discuss sex-related topics, let alone enjoy it. My job as a therapist is to teach them to discuss their sex life without fear or hesitation. Playfulness and trust are two prerequisites for a relaxed and frank conversation.
nine. Don’t get hung up on penetration
In a food analogy, penetration is the dish that is ordered most often, even if the recipe is always the same. Try experimenting with other ways to please each other: oral and manual sex, deep petting.
ten. Plan Happy Hours
Fading passion in marriage is one of the most common problems. To all couples who contact me about this, I give advice: plan romantic moments. But keep in mind: plans should not be disrupted. Non-binding can lead to the fact that the weekly sex celebration turns into a formality that can be “moved” for the sake of a football match or a new episode of your favorite TV series.