When emotional intelligence (EI) was discovered and described in 1990, it finally became clear why, in seven out of ten cases, people with average IQs achieve more in life than those whose IQs are above average.
After a quarter of a century of research, scientists agree on one thing: it is the measure of emotional intelligence, or emotional coefficient (EQ), that distinguishes outstanding people from ordinary people: 90% of prominent people in society have a high EQ.
Despite its importance, it is not easy to find precise criteria for “calculating” emotional intelligence. However, there are several signs that indicate a high level of emotional development. Think about how they apply to you – this will help you understand your strengths and weaknesses.
1. You have a rich emotional vocabulary.
All people experience many different feelings, but not all are able to recognize and name their emotional state at the moment. Research shows that only 36% of us have this skill. All others face difficulties because they do not understand their emotions, and this often leads to irrational and meaningless actions.
People with a high EQ master the art of writing out the shades and semitones of experiences: where an ordinary person says that he feels “bad”, an emotionally developed person will describe his feelings more precisely: “I am annoyed”, “angry”, “humiliated”, “tense”, “upset” “. The more accurately the word is chosen, the clearer the reason and how to deal with it.
2. You are interested in people
Whether he is an extrovert or an introvert, a person with a high EQ is interested in other people. This curiosity is a direct consequence of the tendency towards empathy, that is, the ability to put oneself in the place of the interlocutor. Thanks to her, emotionally developed people find it much easier to establish contact with others.
3. You are open to change
Those with high EQs are constantly changing and adapting to their circumstances. Instead of being afraid of change, they wait for it and think ahead about their actions.
4. You know how to refuse
Emotional intelligence, among other things, implies self-control. The ability to deny yourself and others is the most important sign of emotional development.
A study at the University of South Carolina found that having to say no is stressful, but people with high EQs are able to say no outright, avoiding streamlined phrases like “I don’t think”, “I’m not sure I can.” By outright abandoning a new task, we thereby show how important the already assumed commitments are to us.
5. You give without expecting anything in return.
An unexpected gift always makes a strong impression. For example, you’ve been talking with a friend of a writer whose last book he hasn’t read yet. You end the conversation, quite happy with each other, and agree to meet sometime again. Next time you take that very last book with you and hand it to your friend. Isn’t it a perfect start to a friendship?