“Sorry for the voice”: 7 rules of digital etiquette


Hi, my name is Julia and I hate voice messages, at least if they are sent without warning, without getting my consent. I also don’t like to receive 17 messages consisting of one or two words, I still shudder every time the phone rings, I get stressed when they add me to new groups without asking, especially non-working ones.

This could be attributed to my social phobia, but it turns out I’m not the only one. “I hate being added to mindless groups by force,” Sabina writes. “And unfamiliar people can also” nail “you virtually to their lives by noting it in the photo.”

“For adding to chats or groups without your consent, they fry in a separate frying pan in hell!” – agrees Zarina.

“I have a negative attitude to the“ voices ”, writes Leonid. – Written speech encourages at least somehow to formulate thoughts, oral not particularly. And if the message is on the case, then I will not be able to find the information. Especially “vocal” are “beautiful” with one capacious “yes”. Well, personally, I’m uncomfortable that I have to stop the music on the computer, sometimes even put on other headphones, listen to this “yes”.

“I don’t listen to messages from clients at all, please write. Edits, comments on work, attendance-passwords, addresses, too, only in writing: in the “voice” then you will not find anything “, – writes Maria.

Sometimes people are motivated not by emotional but by practical considerations. “I try not to write at night, although sometimes it’s easier for me. A person can immediately read the message, but not answer, and in the morning he will no longer have a notification about the unread, and he will simply forget about you, – explains Leonid. “I’ve encountered this more than once.”

Some, however, take all these features of digital communications quite calmly.

“I normally perceive that they write to me 24/7,” says Sabina. “I’ll say more: I’m even grateful if some work message arrives late in the evening, which means that a person, like me, is not indifferent to our common cause.”

“I have a great attitude towards“ voice ”, – shares her namesake. – If I can’t listen, I write. And I actively use it myself, especially if there is a lot of information and it takes a long time to write. “Voice” is very convenient, – agrees Arina. – Don’t strain your eyes. Turned on, listened, wrote down the answer. It saves time and saves your eyes. “

“I love voice calls for work: they can quickly tell you about your immediate tasks and ask questions while driving,” adds Natalia. “Well, just do it faster than if I were typing the same text.”

So how is it right? I talked about this with podcast author Christina Wazowski. Throughout the first season of her podcast Sorry To Voice, she talked to sociologists, anthropologists and digital professionals to figure out what the rules of modern digital etiquette are allowed, what is forbidden, and what can and should be discussed.

1. Voice messages and calls – by “mutual agreement”

To clarify in advance in the correspondence whether it is convenient for the interlocutor to listen to the voice message means to show respect to him. Calls are the same story: if there is no vowel or tacit agreement about them, you should first ask. Better yet, schedule a call in advance (this, of course, does not apply to force majeure situations).

The number and duration of “voice” are also individual: with someone you have adopted this format of communication, with someone not. But sending 5-second voice messages in any case is not worth it, as well as 5-minute ones. If we are talking about working communication, it is better to formulate your thoughts in writing, otherwise the “listener” will have to write down for you.

2. Tag on the photo – with the consent of the person

“If a person looks objectively attractive in a photograph (and is not caught in compromising circumstances), then it’s quite normal to mark him,” says Anna. “And he can always remove the mark, if anything.”

It is always best to ask before tagging someone who is not too close in a photo, as well as before adding any person (even a friend) to a new chat or giving someone their contact. Or create a new chat to introduce someone to someone. In general, in order to understand whether something is worth doing or not, it is useful to imagine how you would feel in a similar situation.

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