“Smart, but lazy”: why should a student be a lazy person
He understands everything, but does not want to do anything. Sitting in front of a computer, instead of doing homework or lessons. Persuasion and threats help only at first, and then they stop working. Is that familiar?
Now look more closely at your child. He is not lazy at all. With what zeal he collects lego blocks. How enthusiastically he reads a book about the characters of his favorite computer game. With what joy he runs to robotics classes. A true idler, like Ilya Ilyich Oblomov, is not capable of this, right?
Reasons for laziness
So, if your child does not look like a famous character in Russian classics, then laziness is just a protective reaction, a mask. It occurs for two reasons:
Fear of error
Initially, children are not afraid to make mistakes. We are afraid to teach them, adults. Not enough cleaned the floor – and now mom frowns. Incorrectly solved the problem – and she sighs quietly. She may not even say anything. The link “did wrong – you’re no good” is assimilated instantly and without words. Especially if it is broadcast by people close and significant to the child.
The child quickly concludes: it’s easier to pretend to be a lazy person, to bury yourself in gadgets or to disappear on the street with friends, but not to make mistakes so as not to become “bad”. Even if the teacher says at school that the phrase “you’re not good for anything”, every mother can minimize her meaning for a young student. Do not evaluate the success of the child, but his efforts.
Do not chase grades – pay attention to whether the child understood the material. In the end, who knows – maybe your future genius is growing, and only university professors can recognize its way of solving problems.
Remember how many planned cases have long been waiting in the wings? Learning to draw, sign up for dancing, make out children’s photos – all this seems to have to be done, and there is no urgent need. When it is not clear why you need to sign up for dancing right now, our brain turns on the energy-saving mode. Indeed, why make an effort and spend precious resources is not clear on what?
The same thing happens in the head of a child. Why do incomprehensible and boring homework, if you can write them off and spend your free time much more pleasantly? Why clean the room if the next day there will be the same mess? But when the child himself or with a little help from his parents finds these “why,” the questions with doing the lessons or the order in the room will disappear by themselves.
What to do?
What to do to help a child cope with difficulties without a face shield? These simple recommendations will help you:
- Praise, celebrate even the smallest successes of the child.
- Encourage you to undertake difficult tasks and tasks.
- Do not refuse help if he asks. But this should be just help, not a task instead of a child.
- Treat mistakes philosophically as inevitable companions of any process.
- Ask to think about the importance of certain processes: why is it important to clean the room or learn Russian. Let him formulate his reasons.
- Teach your child to organize the day so that he has enough energy and time for all activities and entertainment. Make a plan of the day together and first help stick to it.
It is from the family that the child takes the basic models of behavior and relationships. Show him the model of an effective person who is not afraid to make mistakes and knows how to correctly manage time.
about the author
Maria Shvetsova – teacher, game practitioner, specialist in effective teaching techniques, author and presenter of a course for parents of schoolchildren to maintain motivation for learning. Her.
Too lazy to do what we do not see the point
They called me to school, they said: “Your smart son, but lazy.” Now I have to go to my twelve-year-old son and say strictly: “Son, do not be lazy! Because it’s easy to fish … tra-la-la … ”My son is really smart, and I have conversations, I would suddenly ask:“ Dad, what is laziness? ”
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