Sexual fantasies are completely natural. But sharing them and putting them into practice should be done with great care and not always. Why?
“First of all, because real actions often disappoint not only the partner, but also the initiator of the experiment,” explains psychoanalyst Didier Dumas. – For example, such a fantasy: unexpected sex in a train toilet. Its reality can be significantly different from the design.
By creating the conditions for the implementation of this plot, the man destroys the charm of the unexpected. And after he persuades the lady and the two of them squeeze into a cramped closet, they will have to come to terms with smells that were not in their fantasies, experience the impatience of other passengers pulling the handle from the other side, and, possibly, the appearance of an angry conductor. In general, the dream runs the risk of turning into a nightmare. “
Fantasies reveal those aspects of a man’s personality that are usually hidden in his unconscious and the discovery of which can shock a woman. The psychoanalyst describes five sexual practices that most men dream about and which are quite realizable. These dreams reveal some male secrets.
Sex without foreplay
To attack and seize, to satisfy the desire without wasting time on affection – a man dreams of becoming like a beast during the mating season. But few are ready to move on to action: sex without foreplay is perceived as a demonstration of power, a manifestation of selfishness of an immature personality. Because it deprives partners of emotional involvement and reduces sexuality to genital joining. Because a woman may think that her body is just a tool and that anyone could be in her place. In general, because it resembles rape.
Something worth remembering. Before he rudely pounces on his lady, the gentleman should make sure that she is experiencing the same desire at that moment. And for this it is necessary that all feelings be tuned to her. So sex without preparation paradoxically requires a lot of sensitivity.
Doing it in the office, in the elevator, in the stairwell, in the toilet of a restaurant or train, at the risk of being caught, is incredibly exciting work of the imagination. The “dangerous” environment provides an invigorating level of adrenaline and satisfies the craving for exhibitionism. She also allows the man to experience his determination and fearlessness. This fantasy is akin to saying, “I can have sex wherever I want and don’t care about the consequences!”
Something worth remembering. If you firmly make sure in advance that the woman is ready and willing to take risks, then extreme adventures will add spice to your sex life. But a timid or shy girl is unlikely to like them, the pleasure will not be mutual.
Entangling your partner with ropes so that she cannot move may seem like a variation of the power fantasy. But true fans of bondage know that this is primarily an aesthetic pleasure, a kind of theatrical and erotic performance.
Its recognized masters are Japanese. The ability to restrain and hold is at the core of Japanese culture: meditation postures require immobility and concentration, tea ceremony requires refined and refined movements, and wearing a kimono requires skill with knots.
In the West, erotic bondage is often referred to as the many practices of sadomasochism. The association with violence and the unfamiliarity of the experience can scare off many women.
Something worth remembering. To fulfill this fantasy, it is better to explain to the woman in advance what is the meaning of the upcoming event – for example, to describe the idea of a magnificent theatrical production in which she will play the main role. The partner addresses her and her body with his admiration, expressing it in exquisite actions. The art of tying requires a developed aesthetic taste and considerable ingenuity, allows for a bit of humor, but does not forgive mediocrity.
This is one of the first fantasies that men confess. Where does so much enthusiasm come from? Besides the fact that the anal area is very erogenous, anal sex gives a feeling of power, complete possession. And the fact that many women are not ready for him only increases his attractiveness.
Anal sex gives pleasure to a woman only if she is very aroused and has confidence in her partner
A man can easily imagine that a woman would never allow anyone but him to this part of the body. Therefore, if he achieves his goal, anal sex gives him an exciting sense of his own exclusivity. And the subtle taste of the forbidden game – due to associations with homosexuality and sadomasochism. After all, so he could take possession of a man’s body. And in this way, the partner could enter him with a dildo.
Finally, anal sex does not lead to fertilization, which gives some reason to consider it a perversion and thus turns it into a forbidden fruit with all its sweetness.
Something worth remembering. Anal sex is impossible without prior preparation. He gives pleasure to a woman only if she is very aroused and has a strong desire and great confidence in her partner. To prevent microtrauma, you must use a lubricant.
One man with two women – such a composition seems to many as a symbol of complete satisfaction and omnipotence. A constant friend may not be enthusiastic about this fantasy, deciding that she cannot fully satisfy her partner and seeing a rival in the second woman.
The man, on the other hand, perceives this situation differently: he does not question the sexual dignity of his partner, but, on the contrary, wants to involve her in a new erotic game. He writes a scenario in which two women fondle each other as they miss a man, and he watches them and then joins in to please both. In a sense, he assigns himself the role of a hero.
For some men, threesome sex involves the opposite ratio – one woman and two men. In this case, fantasy reflects a craving for exhibitionism, the desire to show another man his power, demonstrating his penis in action and “sharing” with him his woman. Behind her may also hide a tendency towards homosexuality, the hope of satisfying her in a mixture of bodies.
Something worth remembering. Whatever the conscious and unconscious reasons for such desires, the realization of this fantasy can destroy the relationship.
Don’t force yourself!
This is the absolute rule of any sex. If your partner wants to try a new sexual practice, but it doesn’t immediately resonate with you, you can invite him to discuss it first and ask for time to think it over. Often, agreeing to kindly listen to a story about a fantasy is quite enough, and the partner will not insist on its implementation.
If he still wants to move on to action, and you still have not had such a desire, do not force yourself to do what you do not want. You can tell your partner about your warm feelings for him and at the same time refuse to carry out a specific scenario. In return, you can offer what you like.