“By trying to present what is happening as a blessing, the opportunity to take our time and thereby find inner balance, we simultaneously deny many people the right to completely different emotions,” says coach and yoga teacher Indra Aimi Rai. “Our obsession with trying to stay positive at all costs leaves them no chance to acknowledge and express bitter feelings, without which it is impossible to reflect on this difficult experience.”
Those who are now experiencing anger, aggression or a state of panic feel guilty for not being able to “pull themselves together” and simply enjoy the unexpected free time. “I wake up and am afraid to open my eyes,” Olesya admits. – It’s hard for me from the unknown, from the lack of confidence in what will happen to my work and income, whether it will be possible to protect my health. I can’t concentrate on reading or exercise – heavy thoughts are spinning in my head. When I call my friends and they tell me about the online training seminars and yoga classes that are now taking place, I feel only worse. “
“Today many people admit this to therapists, who are encouraged by the world around them not to lose their good humor,” says psychologist Marina Miaus. “Those who fail to do so experience even more stress.”
We begin to go to the other extreme and romanticize our confinement, refusing to admit that this is a real challenge to mental well-being. “What is happening in many reveals long-standing childhood traumas, usually caused by a lack of connection with a loved one and a loving person,” says Indra Aimi Rai. – The fact of isolation turns out to be a trigger of childhood experiences, when we in the same way could feel left and defenseless. Most live with trauma, not realizing it and only facing the inevitable symptoms: addiction, depression, low self-confidence, increased anxiety. “
No one is doing better or worse. We all have a right to feelings – and this is our way of getting through a difficult time.
However, in everyday life full of social contact, working and meeting with friends, we have learned to cope and suppress our feelings and emotions. This explains well why many of us find it so difficult to relax, being alone, and we are constantly trying to keep ourselves busy.
“On the one hand, being able to stop and face the experiences we’ve been running from for so long seems rewarding,” says Rai. – On the other hand, right now, when we are deprived of any support from the outside, and self-isolation turns out to be additional stress, it is not the best moment for such deep insights.
Only those who have already had a similar experience can use the time for meditation and breathing exercises for their own benefit. As a yoga teacher, I am well aware of the benefits of movement. At the same time, I would venture to suggest that most people will not be able to concentrate on the practice of meditation for a couple of minutes now. Our nervous system is over-stressed. Even just closing your eyes, you risk causing an attack of panic, a return to difficult memories and associations. “
Of course, we will learn a lot from this period. Someone will learn to be grateful to life for those little things that they did not appreciate before. Someone will fondly remember the experience of communicating with loved ones. However, for many, this is a serious internal crisis from which they have to get out. “Of course, any experience is important,” says Marina Miaus. – It’s good that you enjoy your break from work. It’s great that you like to devote yourself to home or to educate yourself. However, it is natural that you find it difficult to get out of bed, you feel weak and apathy. None of us is a loser or a winner in this situation. No one is doing better or worse. We all have a right to feel – and that’s our way of getting through a difficult time. “
If we manage to support each other right now, this will be the road to healing.
When we get angry at others who are careless about self-isolation, we calm ourselves down and distract ourselves from anxiety. True, this does not add love to humanity. But we can regain this feeling, if even in this difficult time we take the place of another. And this love will open up new strength and resources in us to survive the quarantine, says clinical psychologist Jill Weber.
Matured children share their experiences with friends much more willingly than with their parents. This is quite natural, because peers understand each other better. As a rule, the most responsive and sympathetic adolescents voluntarily become “psychotherapists”, but this mission is often risky, explains psychiatry professor Eugene Berezin.