Only fools do not judge by appearance
Man among people
I remember, in my youth, this phrase was found in some book, and for a long time I did not know that it belonged to Oscar Wilde. The thought then struck me, as everything is paradoxical. Because we lived according to the proverb “they meet us by clothes, we see them off with our minds”. Everything was clear here: no matter how you dress up, you can’t hide stupidity. And in general, the matter is not in appearance, but in your true, that is, inner virtues. Adults said: the main thing is what kind of person.
With this deep conviction, we nevertheless carefully monitored our appearance. In his youth, a person does not leave the stage around the clock. Therefore, you need to look. Otherwise, why does my mother carefully alter my older brother’s jackets for me, and I torture my naughty hair with a biolin? No, everything relates precisely to something important in me.
Rather, everything is important in me, because everything is mine, and my appearance, voice, gesture are I in my most indisputable manifestation. And not a single girl will agree with the song that, they say, “do not be born beautiful, but be born happy.” Everyone wants to be beautiful and knows: this is the shortest path to happiness. And ugly women at Zabolotsky’s school evenings read about what beauty is: “It is a vessel in which there is emptiness, or fire shimmering in a vessel.” Boring and necessary only for those who are unlucky.
The phrase came in handy. For example, in a book or in a movie you can immediately see when a traitor or a bandit appears. His hands are sweating, his smile is fake, his trousers and sleeves are short, a simulated laugh, while his eyes look away – he is considering how best to cheat. The rest of the characters are simply naive, they do not immediately notice. But we see right away. And in life, the one who is unpleasant to us, as a rule, has repulsive manners, appearance and even a surname. By the manner of dressing, it is easy to determine who is the clicker and who is the movie star.
But all of us are also idealists, for we are piously convinced of our own moral integrity. We sincerely believe in what we are saying and think that we think what we think at the moment, and we want what all good people on earth want. There is nothing to think about – just look into the eyes, which after all never lie (this saying was good).
God, with what naivety and fearlessness one could then be offered to look in the eyes and how good life was in the radiantly one-dimensional world!
The process of growing accompanied reading literature. She taught the complex dialectics of the relationship between external and internal
There were then, of course, all sorts of complexes, despair, misanthropy and a feeling of self-exile, even a torment of conscience, which suddenly covered the mind …
But they were all so obvious, fleeting and so needed a viewer and listener that it was impossible to linger for a long time in themselves, which means that you again found yourself even badly honest, sincere and, in essence, very good. And handsome, of course.
Then life became complicated, and he himself managed to create troubles. To find out, for example, the shameful discrepancy between a beautiful-hearted plan, true intentions and real forces.
The whole process of growing up as a young man was accompanied, of course, by the reading of our great literature, begun at school. She taught the complex dialectics of the relationship between external and internal. But, in essence, she also accustomed to the strict binding of such a ratio. This was called the “artistic detail.” Nozdryov, for example, at the very first meeting he began to say to “Chichikov” “you” – nothing good could be expected from him. Rudin at the beginning of the novel spoke in such a thin voice that it became clear to everyone: he was rather weak for revolutionary aspirations, but what can I say about the “naked Helen” in the theater.
Then came a certain satiety with realistic literature. The problem of correlation of external and internal now seemed old-fashioned. Moreover, the more incarnations life acquired, the more imperfect the next realization seemed. Yes, we are all not handsome, but the ratio of external and internal is ridiculous care, after all, not young people.
However, a turn towards realism is apparently inevitable. Once again, I want not just simple answers, but some kind of internal stability and clarity.
There is no getting around – our attitude to a person develops literally in the first minute of acquaintance. That is, corresponds to the impression that his appearance made. Clothing here plays, of course, not the last role. But, I think, Oscar Wilde was not only talking about clothes. Face, voice, manners, conversation. The habits of a person “on his mind” or a fussy and insecure person are immediately evident. The pretentiousness or laconicism of a worthy person, too.
Yes, that there is every person, with summer dunes around the pupil, the funeral walk of an aging young man, a sincere laugh, a gloomy look – all in full view. Like a flaky seed under the gaze of the midday sun. If you come up with an image for yourself, then, sooner or later, the game will reveal itself.
Do not cheat, do not hide. And yes, only fools do not judge by appearance.