How to understand that a partner has sexual addiction?
“I’m often asked about the demarcation line that separates a partner’s healthy sexual activity from a pathological addiction,” says sexologist and coach David Weigant. “Is a future possible with such a man?” Here are the most frequently asked questions and answers of an expert.
What are the symptoms of sex addiction?
There can be many red flags. The most obvious:
- He regularly watches porn, and alone, and this does not turn into a form of sexual prelude with a partner.
- He masturbates even after having sex.
- He may unexpectedly react aggressively to your refusal to have sex, which does not fit with his usual manner of behavior (even if he later apologizes for it).
Is one sexual partner enough for him, or will he cheat?
“This question cannot be answered unequivocally, it all depends on the individual characteristics of a person,” says David Weigant. – One will seek new partners and sexual relations for him are possible with almost anyone who reciprocates. Physical attractiveness may not be critical. The other, on the contrary, is inclined to be faithful, but on condition that a regular partner is ready to satisfy his sexual appetite. ”
Nevertheless, the majority of addicts are not able to resist the painful passion for continuous sexual discharge, and long-term stable relationships are possible only if a person seeks professional help. “The main problem you will face is a lack of trust,” says Weygant. “Very soon you will begin to suspect him of treason.”
How to understand that he simply has a high sexual temperament?
“The answer lies in your love relationship with him,” the expert believes. – Does he worry about giving pleasure first of all to you, or is his own satisfaction the priority? As a rule, sex addicts tend to discharge as quickly as possible, ignore the preludes necessary for a woman. ”
After that, they do not need much time to recover, and they are ready to continue intercourse according to the same scenario: achieving their own orgasm as quickly as possible. A partner with a high sexual temperament who loves you first of all will make sure that you get pleasure from this meeting.
Is it worth trying to satisfy him if there is no desire to leave?
If you start having sex against your will, out of fear of being rejected, he may blackmail you with this. It is important to talk honestly about the sexual scenario, the frequency of possible contacts, and if your needs diverge greatly, and the partner insists on your desires, it is worth considering whether you need a person with whom you will not feel comfortable.
He increasingly insists on repeating scenes from porn films: how to relate to these fantasies?
People with sex addiction often want sex like in porn scenarios. However, they do not show the partner an emotional connection either before or after, and all unusual bed scenarios are designed to satisfy only their sexual desires. This naturally leaves a feeling that you are being used.
What if you suspect he has sex addiction?
It is always worth remembering that you will not be able to fix it. Your friend first of all needs professional help. “The best thing you can do is to convince him to go to the therapist as soon as possible, preferably specializing in this addiction profile,” Weigant says. “At the same time, it is important that the partner understands that he has a difficult and long work to do, and he wants to change not only for your sake, but primarily for his own sake.”
Dependence does not leave a person instantly, but if there is a desire, patience and your support, he can learn to control his impulses, transform them into something more healthy both for himself and for your relationship.
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