You may already love your home. But most people sooner or later experience dissatisfaction with where they live. This is totally normal. It is human nature to desire changes for the better. Perhaps you are looking to move to a safer area, or you are dreaming of a bigger home.
We shouldn’t give up our dreams, but we shouldn’t give up our present life either.
After the birth of our two daughters, we were literally obsessed with the idea of moving. We told ourselves that we had “outgrown” our apartment. Toys were scattered everywhere. The double stroller had to be left at the front door, where it was in the way. I also had to climb the stairs to the apartment with groceries. The house was in chaos. We needed more space. We wanted our own garden. We wanted to move.
But a few years before that, when my husband and I had just got married and first entered this apartment, we were fascinated. The house was beautiful and in a good location. When we bought this apartment, there were many applicants for it. My husband and I offered our amount, and we were lucky – we got it.
When we finally moved in, this step was a turning point in my life. I became the mistress of my own house …
During the month, while making out the purchase, every evening we passed by the future house and looked at it from the street. Through the open windows one could clearly see the children sitting at dinner, and a huge tree covered with flowers stretched its branches towards the house. If someone from the family noticed us, we pretended to just walk by.
When we finally moved in, this step was a turning point in my life. I became the mistress of my own house … Life could not be better. The first morning I woke up early and went to the kitchen to make coffee. Opening the window, as the previous tenants did, I let in the chorizia branches. The squirrel, which my daughters and I later nicknamed Mr. Squirrel, jumped onto the iron box of the window and sat on the windowsill. It was a magical moment.
If you feel that you have ceased to love your home, it’s time to look at it through the eyes of another person.
For the next few years, we decorated the house. We renovated the bathroom and closets, changed the kitchen equipment to modern ones. All our guests noted how much light there was in the apartment. It was so spacious there. We listened to music often. We opened the windows to let the purifying sea air of Santa Monica into the living room. And they often invited guests and hosted dinner parties.
So how did our beloved home become a swamp that we outgrew? How did our home paradise become a place that we can hardly stand? After all, the only thing that has changed, besides the birth of daughters, is our attitude.
When I lived in Paris with an aristocratic family in the Sixteenth arrondissement, they seemed to be able to “negotiate” with an apartment. But they had five children! If they could enjoy life in their own apartment, then why can’t we?
We didn’t have a garden, but I decided to tackle the abandoned plants on the patio and recruited my girls. After several trips to the garden center, we put on garden gloves and hats, began to trim, water, fertilize.
Wherever you live: in your own house, in a rented apartment or in a dorm room, if you feel that you have stopped loving your home, it’s time to look at it through the eyes of another person.
Instead of leaving a pile of washed laundry in the corner of your bedroom, you want to sort it and arrange it in the drawers of the dresser.
The more we love our home, the more we will want to take care of it. And then magical changes will take place.
Instead of leaving a pile of washed laundry in the corner of your bedroom, you will want to sort it and arrange it in the drawers of the dresser. Instead of piling up useless things on the mantelpiece, you will want to find a place for them and beautifully arrange what you hold dear. And you will do it regularly and willingly. If you love your home, he will also respond with love.
How to find motivation
Let me ask you this: can you easily host guests at home without feeling anxious? If a longtime friend suddenly appears on your doorstep, can you enjoy her arrival or will you beat yourself up for dirty things lying around the living room? Will you be comfortable if you have to leave one of the guests overnight? What about friends staying at home while you are away? Will you start to panic?
Before my husband and I went on our annual trip to England to visit our family, we met with an old school friend of his.
My husband is a generous man, and he had absolutely no idea how worried I was about the presence of strangers in a house where everything is not ideal (to be honest, very far from ideal). In the end, he invited a friend to stay with us while we were in England. In response to this, my stomach instantly contracted.
In what state did I leave home? We left in some haste. Guests will have to put fresh sheets on themselves. And what is done in the dresser with the linen? Is there a mess? Are the bathrooms clean? Oh no, his friends will find out how badly we run the house.
My husband’s friends had a great time. I’m sure they didn’t care too much about the state of our house. They were just grateful that they had a place to stay. But the stress I experienced from their visit was enough motivation for me to start tidying up the house when I returned.
About the author: Jennifer L. Scott is a columnist, blogger, and writer.