Moreover, unlike a woman, for whom there are many techniques and rituals in culture to adapt to her new role, for a man this process can be much more difficult.
“Even if these are just symbolic rituals, a woman is greeted with flowers from the hospital, gifts for children’s birthdays and much more,” comments Daria Utkina. – But everyone forgets about the man who became a dad, and this is an equal event! In fact, there is no way for him to initiate other than to go to a bar with friends and get drunk. And if he chose instead to go, for example, to childbirth, where the center is a woman, and then a child, then it turns out that he experienced a huge shock, but it is not symbolically marked in any way. He has to rely not on traditions, but to look for new ways for himself. “
As a result, we see two people who do not sleep at night, are in a state of extreme stress and anxiety, who have a baby who also wants to understand how to live in this world. Both partners experience different kinds of pressure: from each other, from relatives, friends, society.
Daria Utkina speaks with alarm about the trend of recent years: “Now there is a certain social model – a woman who, immediately after giving birth, should lead the same lifestyle as before pregnancy. She works, leads a social life, looks slim and sexy – no whims or changes. This is broadcast from magazines, TV, books and, firstly, creates an absolutely incorrect picture for a man of how it really happens. And secondly, it exerts incredible pressure on a woman who experiences a double sense of guilt. “
Thus, the woman is denied the most important thing – to feel like a full-fledged mother and calmly find harmony with her own child.