How to get out of the vicious circle?
“The lives of girls who grew up with an indifferent father to them, and those who grew up without a father, often turn out to be similar,” says Terry Gaspar. – It is difficult for them to build a personal life. But difficult does not mean impossible. ” This is what psychologists suggest.
Communicate with men
Veronika Stepanova considers it important to communicate more with men: friends, colleagues, relatives. Observe, look closely, make friends.
“If you are more comfortable interacting with women, and men are intimidated by society, try to see them as children. This will help break the halo of foreignness. “
If you are married, but the family role is difficult, create pleasant traditions and rituals.
“Having a beautifully set table for Saturday breakfast, buying new Christmas tree decorations for your family collection – let the interest in this be artificial at first, but the daily little work gradually creates the feeling that you have a family. This means responsibility, joy and great value. “
Reconnect with dad
“If you want to meet a father who has not been in your life, you should realize this desire,” says Terry Gaspar. “If this is not possible, try talking about him with people who knew him intimately — first of all with your mother.” Most likely, a flurry of not the most pleasant feelings awaits you, but they will help you to realize what happened to you in childhood.
Embrace the past
“When you were little, your father was not around – what feelings did that evoke? – Psychologist Peggy Drexler suggests pondering. – Perhaps other family members surrounded you with love and care, and this allowed not to think about the absence of a dad. Or, on the contrary, you were in pain, but you forbade yourself these thoughts and did not discuss this topic with your mother. Allow yourself to live and accept all the feelings that arise with these memories. “
Understanding the relationship between childhood experience and how adult life is built helps a woman to get out of the vicious circle of male choices, relationships with whom lead to a dead end, and finally make the right choice.