From vacation to vacation: how to save vitality

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PSYCHOLOGIES No. 20

From vacation to vacation: how to save vitality

How long do we stay awake and in a good mood after the holidays? And why not always as long as we would like? We collected the stories of vacationers and asked the psychotherapist Irina Pervushina to comment on them.

Refreshed, rested, full of energy – so we return from vacation. There are lucky people who will have enough of this supply of new strength until the next trip. But there are many who lose it quite quickly. Sometimes almost immediately.

“I returned from Santorini,” said 28-year-old Nadezhda. – While traveling from the airport by express, there was nothing else. But she entered the subway, someone pushed and didn’t apologize, everyone was running, their faces were gloomy … The mood instantly disappeared. ” On vacation – especially if he succeeded – we open up, all the senses begin to work more intensively. This is a childish, very vivid perception of the world.

But at the same time, our view of the world is becoming a little childish, idealizing. It seems that all people are kind, and the world is beautiful. We rejoice – and expect that others will rejoice with us.

We do not want to part with such a worldview. But it makes us vulnerable, and the signals coming from the external environment can be too strong, harsh. They make us swiftly shut, close – and often we remain so closed, “collapsed”.

To avoid painful disappointments, it’s worth a little more to get together, look around, understand where we are now, what kind of situation is around (a lot of people, cars go …) – and react accordingly. A good mood to share a little later with loved ones who can sincerely rejoice for us.

Dreams of eternal vacation

There are many who live from vacation to vacation, between the memories of a beautiful past, where there are waves, the sun, the wind, and the prospects for the future, when you can drop everything and repeat these experiences again. Memories and prospects are vivid and inspiring, but in the present there remains a routine, it is practically erased.

Often we do not notice this and do not complain: we are used to it, it seems the most common thing. But we consume vital resources, they are depleted, and then we begin to feel different ailments, lethargy or irritation, and sometimes all together. These are signs that vitality is running out. Again, I want to relax, and the next vacation is far away. What to do?

We return to our habitat, which during the holidays became a little unusual

There are those who changed their lives in order to be closer to the “energy sources”. 42-year-old screenwriter Maria six years ago sold her Moscow apartment and left for Bulgaria.

“For many years I have been here every year until I realized that I don’t want to return to Moscow at all, I need more sun, air. I bought two small apartments in Bulgaria, I rent out one of them, I still write scripts and stories, for this you do not have to sit in the office. And at any moment I can go to the sea. You can say I have eternal vacation now, ”she smiles.

But not everyone is ready for such changes. Many of us are returning to our cities.

Acceleration of the city

We find ourselves in a familiar habitat, which during the holidays became a little unusual … For example, let’s look at the simplest single-celled creature – an amoeba. While she is in a favorable environment for her, she moves slowly. But when the conditions change, the amoeba begins to move faster and more chaotically. We, of course, are much more complex creatures, but something similar happens with us.

If the environment is not entirely favorable, we unwittingly try to protect ourselves from it. We lower our eyes down, speed up the step, raise the collar – and along with the shoulders, muscles tighten, breathing becomes superficial. This is a natural adaptive behavior. Tips to relax or breathe deeply will not help: how is this possible, for example, on the Moscow Ring Road?

The point is not to behave differently. First you need to notice how exactly we behave. Then our actions will cease to be unconscious and we will get the opportunity to control them. But this does not mean giving orders: “Calm down! Feel good. “

We can act more carefully and efficiently: for example, create other conditions for ourselves. “No matter how tight my schedule is, once a week I visit the spa,” says 56-year-old Anna. “I need not only procedures, but also a time when I am only occupied with myself.”

From vacation to vacation: how to save vitality

The rhythm of your “I”

It is hardly an exaggeration to say that almost all able-bodied residents of large cities are multifunctional. Upon returning to the city, the number of roles that we play grows many times. Within one day, we are parents, subordinates and managers, car drivers and pedestrians, specialists and friends … Consequence: we often do not have time to be ourselves.

Tangledness and jerking are just the symptoms of what psychologists call the loss of contact with their “I”. On vacation, of course, everything is different. Our attention belongs to us, there we become the center of our own lives.

We can live in our own rhythm, and not rush along with the rest

And the urban bustle quickly pushes us to the periphery of our own interests. “From vacation, I did not go home and went to see my mother because I felt guilty: I flew away to“ cool down ”, leaving my four-year-old daughter on her,” says 32-year-old Svetlana.

Many of those who leave their children or elderly relatives at home experience similar experiences. A sense of duty, guilt, perfectionism, which requires “ideality” that runs counter to our interests, is a separate topic, perhaps for discussion with a therapist.

In any case, everyone needs to keep in touch with themselves. How to do this? To start, ask the question: how do I feel? Am I okay now? How am i breathing What do I see in front of me? By writing small, but regular pauses into the work schedule, we can pay attention not only to numerous tasks, but also to ourselves. With the same pauses, you can arrange the transition from one state to another: for example, do not rush right after work home, but leave a few minutes to chat with yourself.

Life in a megalopolis can be compared to choral singing: it is difficult to lead your own part when you hear many powerful voices nearby. Yes, this requires training. But the result is worth it: we can live in our own rhythm, and not rush along with the rest.

From vacation to vacation: how to save vitality

Vacation Reminders

To a large extent, urban life consists of solving problems: professional, domestic, family. Most of the time we think about something – and almost do not pay attention to the sensations. This is also facilitated by the fact that not all are pleasant among the stimuli coming from outside.

“I work in a noisy office,” Denis, 31, complains, “and our team is not very friendly. In order not to hear disputes, I put on headphones, but soon I stop noticing music, it becomes the background. ” Sharp light, uncomfortable body position, unpleasant odors – if we cannot avoid them, then we simply turn off the perception. And often forget to “turn it back on.” So we find ourselves separated from our own body, “move” to the head, in thought.

But the joy of life and the feeling of “I live” come to us through the body, which is why it is important to regain the ability to feel. By the way, on vacation we can take care of this. “I bring blue dried flowers from Crimea,” says 27-year-old Catherine. “They have been standing on the closet for a whole year, like a little cloud, and when they look at them, it becomes joyful: I feel as if I are returning to the slopes of Echki-Dag.

Vacation may not be our only salvation, but another pleasant part of life.

For 35-year-old Boris, another channel of perception is more important. “On trips I buy local varieties of tea, herbs or dried fruits, from which I then prepare drinks,” he shares.

Naila collects shells and stones on the coast to spread them in her room, Irina travels to Asian countries – and buys silver bracelets there, which she wears later, and Denis takes photographs – and exotic landscapes act as wallpaper on a computer.

Each of us has his own way to collect a piggy bank of pleasant experiences. Finding it is not always possible immediately – but the search process itself becomes a source of pleasure.

Remembering your “I”, listening to the body, living in your own rhythm, taking care of a favorable environment for yourself and regularly creating conditions for restoring strength – this is approximately the list of things necessary for us to become not only the salvation for us, but also another pleasant part of our life .

It could be better

Before vacation

As it happens: “My sister called me on a tour and made comments for a whole week: either I didn’t wash the cup, then I chose the wrong route. To establish a relationship failed. Relax too. ” Irina, 26 years old

Sentence: Plan your vacation with self-care so you can regain your strength. Take in the company of those people in the company of whom you feel truly calm and free.

During

As it happens: “On vacation, I try to completely forget about the rest of my life. True, it’s hard to come back … ” Sergey, 42 years old

Sentence: Why not use the vacation (at least in its last days, when we still unwittingly turn our thoughts to the future) as a “point of view” to look at everyday life from the outside? Perhaps you will see what you lack in it, what you can add.

After

As it happens: “I often want to go somewhere, but I don’t have time to plan it and spend almost the whole weekend at home.” Elena, 39 years old

Sentence: Surely there are different people in your surroundings: it would be nice to walk with someone or do a morning run, and go to a museum or a concert with someone. Not necessarily close friends, they may just be acquaintances. In the countries of Scandinavia, this is an accepted practice – people agree who is calling someone to the exhibition, to the cinema.

Maybe we should try?

Text: Elsa Ladvitskaya
Photo Source: Getty images

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