Friendship sex is always a bad idea?
Man and woman
We all understand that such relationships are unpredictable and often fraught with problems – just like in the famous romantic comedy with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. But maybe friendship sex might still be a good idea?
“Yes! – Sure sexologist Holly Richmond. “Friendly relations in which sex is present can be healthy and prosperous – it’s true only if we are careful and prudent.”
According to Richmond, for some people, such a “friendship with sex” is even more suitable than a traditional monogamous couple. For example, if you currently do not have the opportunity to have a serious relationship (for example, you constantly work overtime to get promoted), then perhaps sex without obligations with clearly defined boundaries is just what you need now.
As with any other relationship, communication is important here. If the need to disclose to your partner (in particular, to talk about your feelings) scares you, perhaps you should think about it. “Many of my clients had“ friends with privileges, ”and everyone was happy. But this is only possible if effective communication is established between friends and both want the same thing, ”Richmond explains.
First of all, it is important that everyone understands what the second partner wants from these relations and what he counts on. If one friend secretly hopes that over time the relationship will develop into something more serious, and the second does not plan this, a problem arises.
Even if both friends are clearly aware of their current expectations, they may change over time.
Richmond advises answering several questions: “Can we meet other people?”, “Should we tell each other about our dates with someone else?”, “What about sex with other partners?”, “How often in general we should talk – every day or less? “,” Will we tell friends about our relationship? ”
Each friendship with privileges is somewhat unique. In some, everything is based on physical attraction, while in others, emotions are involved. That is why it is so important to establish for yourself the principles that are appropriate for your situation, and to establish an open and stable communication.
Unlike traditional relationships, in the case of “friendship sex,” you can discuss in advance when and under what conditions these relationships will end. This may seem strange, but Holly Richmond advises to discuss in advance a possible ending so that you do not have disagreements when the time comes to part. Perhaps this will happen if one of you wants a serious relationship with someone else or one of you has too strong feelings.
In any case, the main sign that it’s time to end these relationships is this: you understand that they no longer meet your needs. Perhaps you need more emotional support from a partner? Or is it necessary someone with whom you can “go out” and who will be faithful to you? If so, it’s time for a serious conversation with a friend. In order to realize in time that it is time to end the “friendship with privileges,” and openly say so, emotional maturity is required.
Friendship sex is not always a bad idea. But, as most of us know, either from our own experience or from numerous romantic comedies, such relationships are not simple. Even if both friends are clearly aware of their current expectations, they may change over time. It is only natural that after physical closeness strong feelings for a partner can arise. If this happens and you realize that you want something more than just friendship, you can’t keep silent about it.