Fear of well-being: why do I have little money?


While the fear of money is generally not recognized, we find compelling reasons to justify the current state of affairs. What are the most common irrational beliefs that get in our way?

“Train Gone” or Missed Opportunity Syndrome

“Everything has been divided long ago, before it was necessary to move”, “everything around is just for bribes”, “I soberly assess my strength” – this is how we often justify our inaction. “It seems to many that there were once blessed times that they missed for some reason, and now it’s useless to do anything,” explains psychotherapist Marina Miaus. – This passive position makes it possible to be in the role of a victim, gaining the right to inaction. However, life gives us a whole set of opportunities, and only we can decide how to use them. “

Loss of loved ones

Money gives us the resources to change our lives. The level of comfort is increasing, we can travel more, get new experiences. At the same time, in the depths of our souls, we feel that they may begin to envy us. “We are unconsciously afraid that if we become successful, they will stop loving and accepting us,” comments Marina Miaus. “The fear of being rejected and breaking away from our familiar circle can keep us from moving forward.”

Growing responsibility

Potential business is our and only our area of ​​responsibility, and this burden, most likely, will not be shared with anyone. There will be a need to constantly think about your business, to figure out how to beat competitors, which means that the level of stress will inevitably increase.

Thoughts that we’re not ready yet

“The feeling that we have not yet grown professionally to seek a promotion suggests that we are most likely led by an inner child who is more comfortable giving up adult responsibility for the sake of a calm, infantile position,” says Marina Miaus. As a rule, a person justifies himself by the fact that he does not have enough knowledge or experience and therefore he is not worthy of a larger sum for his work.

How does it manifest?

We can perfectly represent our product or service, but at the same time be afraid to raise the topic of money. In some cases, this is what stops us when we want to start our own business. And if the product is sold, but the client is in no hurry to pay for it, we avoid this delicate topic.

Some women distributors of cosmetics sell it to their friends at cost, explaining that it is a hobby for them. It is psychologically difficult for them to start making money on their service. We confidently communicate with the client, build a dialogue competently, however, as soon as it comes to payment, our voice changes. It’s like we’re sorry and embarrassed.

What to do?

Rehearse and videotaped how you tell the customer the cost of your services or talk about the promotion with your boss. “Imagine yourself as someone who already has a successful business, play the role of someone who can speak confidently about money,” suggests motivational coach Bruce Staton. – When you succeed in playing this scene convincingly, play it many times. In the end, you will be convinced that you can calmly discuss these topics, and will automatically speak with a new intonation. “

There is no need to be afraid to dream, but it is important to concretize the dream and turn it into a business plan by writing a strategy step by step. “Your plan should be horizontal, that is, include concrete, small steps,” explains Marina Miaus. “Aiming at the pinnacle of success can work against you if you are so anxious about the inability to achieve your intended triumphant goal that you stop doing anything.”

“Visualization: what exactly do you need money for – often helps to motivate yourself to act,” says Bruce Staton. – After you have drawn up a step-by-step business plan, outline in detail all the pleasant bonuses that will bring material opportunities into your life. If this is a new home, travel or helping loved ones, describe in detail how the new home will look like, which countries you will see, how you can please your loved ones. “

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