Eight habits that prevent a dream come true

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Eight habits that prevent a dream come true

Change the profession, adopt a child, go to learn a language abroad … Probably, each of us has our own aspirations, goals, or at least vague desires to accomplish, change, and correct something. Why then do these intentions and reality often fail to find common ground?

Each of us takes some steps in order to improve our lives. Some are ready for radical changes, but do not understand where to start and in which direction to move. Others look more out of the comfort zone more pessimistically. But they also set themselves some tasks: to improve health, make a career and gain financial stability, to give the child a good education.

No matter what you strive for, try not to make one or more common mistakes along the way. Psychotherapist Amy Morin identifies eight traps that interfere with achieving goals, and suggests strategies to help avoid them.

1. You set your goal aside “someday”

For “someday” they didn’t come up with a place on the calendar. You will never achieve your plan if you continue to postpone the achievement of the goal for an indefinite period. There is no point in best intentions without a clear plan.

Decision: if the goal is really important to you, schedule a deadline. If you can’t get started immediately, at least determine the exact time when you can get down to business. Do you intend to ask for an increase due to the fact that the child has gone to school, or are you planning to receive a second education when you turn 40, stop using the word “someday”.

2. You are waiting for the moment when you feel that you are ready

If you wait for a moment of insight to tackle a difficult task, you will probably have to wait a very long time. It is unlikely that a surge of inspiration will arise by itself out of nowhere.

Decision: change the behavior first. Quite often, appetite comes with eating. Start acting – and soon you will feel real excitement that will help you move on.

3. You underestimate the difficulty

If you want to get rid of debts or hope to lose weight, understand that the hard way awaits you. The setting “this is not a problem at all!” May prevent you from properly tuning, gathering your will into a fist and be patient. On some days and weeks it will be especially difficult, and these long difficulties are important to anticipate and accept.

Decision: Instead of telling yourself that the problem is easily solvable, remind you to work hard to achieve your goals. Imagine what potential traps you might encounter. Sooner or later, inevitably there will be a temptation to quit and give up everything. Come up with strategies to help you resist. When we have a plan, we feel more confident and determined to go towards the goal.

4. You perceive mistakes as failure

Development rarely goes in a straight line, steadily and from the bottom up. It would seem obvious. And yet, some of us are convinced that, stepping back or slowing down, they returned back to the starting point. And that feeling makes them give up.

Decision: admit that you will sometimes make mistakes and spoil everything. But instead of declaring yourself a failure, use this energy of anger and frustration to figure out how to get back on track.

5. You do not give priority to your goal

It is easy to say: “I want to change this situation.” Realizing this desire in practice is much more difficult. You will have to prioritize and act in that order. Otherwise, your intention will quickly be lost among other daily activities.

Decision: outline a specific step, a simple action that you are going to perform every day, and mark it on the calendar. You are more likely to go to the gym, send a resume or spend an hour studying a new business idea, if you set the exact time for this.

6. You give up before you see the results

Impatience is the enemy of change. Waiting is too hard for many; lack of perseverance and perseverance to bring things to at least some point.

Decision: if you do not see the results, this does not mean that the effort is in vain. This means that you need to concentrate on your task and not be distracted longer than you think before you notice noticeable changes.

7. You deliberately delay before the finish

Fear of success can be a real problem. Have you noticed that you are sabotaging your own plan before you reach your goal? Perhaps you do not believe that you are worthy of success, or are afraid that someone will take it from you.

Decision: Think about past goals that you struggled to achieve, or those that you could not achieve. Be honest with yourself, listening to your feelings, and be on the lookout for warning signs that tell you you’re ready to give up.

8. You raise the bar too high

If you are determined to change your life, you might be tempted to set a very high bar. But the desire to take on too much in a very short time dooms to failure.

Decision: too global a task can be insurmountable. Set short-term goals and mark each milestone along the way in small steps.

About the author: Amy Morin – social worker, psychotherapist, author of the book “13 Things: What Mentally Healthy People Never Do”.
Prepared by: Maria Fedotova
Photo Source: Getty images

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