Those suffering from love addiction differ from healthy people in that they are not able to go beyond the first strong love, passion and attraction. “Addiction requires constant stimulation of the“ pleasure center ”of the brain (associated with feelings of love and being in love), so they constantly have new and new relationships, forgetting about everything except a new object of love,” explains family therapist Gianni Adamo.
Sex addiction arises in approximately the same way – those suffering from it also need constant stimulation of the “pleasure center” of the brain, which they receive through sexual relationships and fantasies. Some people suffer from both addictions at the same time. They fall in love easily, but find it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. In order not to crash the “ship of love” on the reefs, getting involved in a relationship with a love addict, remember these 13 possible signs of love addiction.
So, a person dependent on love:
1. Constantly starts new relationships that last for a relatively short time (from 3 to 24 months).
2. All the time looking for “the same” or “the same”.
3. Develops strategies for finding, seducing and retaining new partners.
4. Retains a partner through sex, seduction, manipulation.
five. Constantly craves to be the object of special attention, hunts for strong sensations.
6. He cannot be alone for a long time – it is unbearable for him.
7. Desperate to please his partner, fearing abandonment or abandonment.
8. Selects partners that are emotionally unavailable, married, or abusive.
nine. Gives up friends and interests for a new love.
ten. When he is not in a relationship, he tries to escape the feeling of loneliness through sex, masturbation or fantasy. Sometimes he avoids relationships in this way.
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, but too much love can also be a sign of mental trouble.
eleven. Constantly returning to relationships that were painful or out of control in the past.
12. Leads a risky sex life without thinking about the possible consequences (sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancy, risk of rape).
13. Unable to maintain close relationships for long periods of time. When the feeling of novelty wears off, he becomes bored or afraid of falling into the trap of a long-term relationship with the wrong person. As a result, he emotionally alienates his partner or pushes him away with scandals.
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, but too much love can also be a sign of emotional distress. “Those who are addicted to love or sex seek the source of happiness not in themselves, but in the outside world. The first important step in treating any addiction is to stop denying the problem and admit that life has become unmanageable, ”says Gianni Adamo.
Psychotherapy and anonymous support groups can help with treatment. Addictions often arise in the context of childhood trauma associated with attachment or sexual abuse. If you start dating a new partner and suspect that he or she is suffering from a love addiction, it is best to try to find someone else who is ready and capable of long-term relationships and true love.
If you still want to try to save this relationship, try to talk frankly with your partner and see if he is ready to solve his problems. Successful and lasting relationships and marriages require a conscious effort from both partners.